If you’ve seen the mediocre children’s film Space Chimps, you might have smiled (or yawned) over the scene where the little alien girl, Kilowatt, tries to stifle her glowing head—which is brightest when she is scared—in the presence of a gooey fat green monster, muttering, “Control your fear. Control your fear.”

Luckily for us, we don’t glow when we’re scared. (We usually do that when we’re pregnant, or after we orgasm.) But that doesn’t mean that we don’t feel like our fear is on display for all to see. Not only is it frustrating to have a strong fear that prevents you from certain activities, it’s also embarrassing to admit it to friends and family.

Some of us laugh when we’re fearful; that’s my own modus operandi. But others cry when afraid. These and other symptoms are not necessarily pleasant, particularly in the face of other people.

If you’ve got a fear you’d like to overcome, why not add it to your Living To Do List and take some important steps toward overcoming it? Sometimes the best thing to do is embrace the fear. For example, I conquered my fear of heights in middle school by riding a roller coaster. Subsequently, I became a roller coaster junkie; so watch out. Your plan may backfire!

If your fear is speaking in public, speak in public! Your first time—even your first few times—will certainly be a little shaky. You won’t be a Martin Luther King, Jr. overnight. But it will get easier and easier. Try starting with a small group of friends and working your way up to a larger audience.

Try thinking up all of the reasons why you wish to conquer your fear. What benefits are there to be had? Will it help you get a better job or enjoy life more? Maybe it will let you sleep better at night, or have a smoother day. List everything, from the tiniest to the largest detail, and let yourself know that conquering this fear will really do you some good.

Be sure to take it one step at a time. While riding a roller coaster may work for some, other people with a fear of heights may want to begin with a small ladder, working their way up (literally!).

It’s also important to note that some serious fears or phobias may be signs of an underlying problem, particularly abuse. If you or a loved one has a phobia that is so terrifying you can’t even bear to think about it, let alone overcome it, you may wish to seek the help of a medical professional.