Hopefully you’ve already added “Thank Someone” or its equivalent to your Living To Do List. We all definitely have people in our lives that we could thank for various things they’ve done for us; I could probably list 100 myself. We all, in turn, also have people we could probably forgive in our lives for harming us, too.

The thing about holding a grudge—besides being really creepy in that Sarah Michelle Gellar movie and its Japanese predecessor, which gave me nightmares for a month (go ahead and laugh, I don’t care! In fact, I forgive you)—is that it doesn’t hurt the person who harmed you. You can hold onto it until it boils and festers, and all it’s going to do is cause you more grief and pain. The person who harmed you isn’t affected by your feelings at all—you are.

As a teenager, I used to think I was pretty clever (didn’t we all?) when people told me that they hated someone or something and I’d scoff, “Well, you might as well love it, then.” They’d peer at me blankly and I’d retort, “If you spend that much energy on something, to truly hate it with every fiber of your being—thinking about it when you first wake up to when you finally go to sleep—then you might as well love it.” They’d be like, “Oh, you’re right!” and I’d think myself sooo smart—until I’d “hate” something myself the next day! In fact, I could’ve taken my own advice during the Bush Administration… it surely would have prevented a lot of riotous explosions from my body at odd moments…

So if you like, add “Forgive Someone” to your Living To Do List. Sure, it’s not as crazy as kayaking with a monkey or as cool as chanting with an African tribe, but it’s something that will definitely enhance the quality of your life. You don’t even have to tell the person (thankfully; if you did, I would have a lot harder of a time forgiving some people). Just think of him or her in your mind and tell him or her about your forgiveness, and release the person from your thoughts. Write it as a letter (you don’t have to mail it) if you’d like to do that instead.

Who could you forgive and relieve yourself from today? Make a list and start with the first person. If you tackle this list throughout the month, by next month you’ll likely feel a whole lot lighter—and happier.